Fake it 'till You Make it?

"Fake it 'till you make it". You may have heard that saying before. I am not sure where exactly it came from but it's a phrase that I have heard before but have often disregarded. I mean who wants to be fake? But then yesterday I heard it again in a much different perspective than I have ever really thought about. At the barn where I work, we just had a clinician come for three days to work with my bosses with their horses. She was working with them on how to create more of a connection with their horses and how to fix different attitude issues. It was amazing to see what was accomplished in just three days time and how the horses responded to specific training styles. We saw their true colors in some ways and I have to say it wasn't always pretty. But is was fascinating on how quickly they caught on to what was being asked of them. They suddenly showed us what it meant to be truly in-tune to your body language and to give complete suppleness and willingness to perform a task. Just by simply looking at a horse's hindquarters you can teach him to move them away from you and by simple waving a finger you can get your horse to back up. Obviously for tricks. body language is key and for film, cues have to be so slight and barely noticeable.
Now as this clinician was explaining this process of training and working with your horse, she stressed about having confidence. Being confident while working with your horse is soooo important because you need to be a leader to your horse. You need to be someone he respects and wants to follow. Now does this mean you are always going to be right and never mess up? Of course not!
It is not about being right all the time. It's about being understanding and never giving up. It's about being consistent and committed no matter what comes up. It's about being humble, patient and flexible. And as the clinician explained, you need to be confident even in those times that you aren't completely sure of yourself. Your horse needs that leadership even if it isn't perfect all the time. It is better to get things by trial and error a hundred times than not to try at all. Now obviously you know with our horses we need to stay in the boundaries of what is safe and non-detrimental to them. Often though, the reason why we can not get the achieved results with them is because we aren't doing something quite clear enough for them to understand. Or we are asking too much or not enough. Or even, we give up just before we are about to make a breakthrough because we just can't see the end result.
So what did she suggest? "Fake it 'till you make it". Even if we're not sure if we are going to get the desired result we want, we are going to go forward with confidence. Rarely are we going to be a hundred percent sure about the outcome, but that is not a good enough reason not to try. You may not be sure if your horse is going to cross that creek or perform that trick or make that flying lead change but when you carry the confidence of: I will do my very best, in the best way I know how, for however long it takes...you will be surprised at your results over time. Suddenly things start to click and you learn exactly what your horse needs to walk calmly over that creek, to bow with flair, and to be a reining pro. You won't feel like you are faking it anymore, because you'll be there. And let's be honest, if you believe in yourself no matter what, you are never truly faking. You are just on your way to making it.
So no matter how many times you get it wrong remember, it took Thomas Edison over 10,000 tries to make the lightbulb shine. He insisted that his tries were never a loss but that he has just learned thousands of times on how not to make a lightbulb shine.
Therefore, no matter how uncertain we are, how many times we don't get our exact desire result, how afraid we are of failing or not being the perfect leader for our horses and people; we need to put on that confidence even if it feels fake at first.
We need to disregard the murmurs, the slip ups, and the obstacles. And pretty soon we'll won't feel like we are faking it anymore and we'll realize we've truly made it. :)