Well I have been having an interesting time lately trying to figure out where this blog is going and what it is I really need to write about. It is no surprise that my plans are not going like I thought they would and where I am at in my life is not exactly where I expected I'd be right now. And I don't think I truly have let go of those plans into God's hands yet. I am still on the train, gripping onto the railing, thinking I am getting ready to jump when I'm not yet fully committed to take the leap. I still keep on trying to force my way to my goals and in the end the rest of my life is suffering. My dreams have become baggage that is weighing my soul down. It has made me cut myself off from attachments because I hate the thought of saying goodbye, it has prevented me from starting projects that I'm not certain I can finish in a certain period of time, it's blinded me to opportunities, hindered my relationships, my ability to serve others, minister to others and truly enjoy life. I never expected my dreams to become castle walls that block me from everything else that is beautiful and special in my life right now. I have an amazing life with a wonderful job, wonderful people to work with who care about me, wonderful friends and family, and opportunities right outside my door. No plans should cut me off from these things. They are not my god but somehow I have made them into my idol. I have placed the whole hope of the success of my life upon them and worried too much that people will see me as a failure if they don't happen. But my dreams don't define my success. How I live my life every day, how I treat those around me, how I leave this world in my small corner of it, how I serve God; that is what rates my success. I will always have my hopes but they are not longer going to be my master. It's time for me to take the plunge and jump off the train.
So this leads me to a possibly exciting announcement for the near future, Lord willing. ;)
It is an idea I have been tossing around for about a year now, but I had to set is aside due to too many other changes in my life over the past year. But now my situation seems a little more conducive for it and I am excited. I am ready to live my life in the here and now instead of years ahead. So I am going to take it day by day and I will reveal more once I have a more concrete idea of the plan God has in store for me. I am going to let Him do the work as I just obediently follow through instead of barging through every little crack I see. Therefore my blog is going to still continue to be about trick training and dreams but it will take on the little bit of different course. A course not based on my expectations because they are too close-minded, but by someone who has the whole world at His fingertips. It sounds so much more exciting! So please be praying for me and this new project of mine and that I will be obedient to God's call wherever it leads. And I will share as soon as I can! :)
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