Counteracting the Attack

Hi everyone,
So the past week or so has caused me to think about human interaction and how we communicate with certain people. Think about all of our interactions with the people in our lives. Anywhere from family members and friends, to co-workers, fellow believers, acquaintances, and even absolute strangers. How would you describe those interactions? What are the hallmarks of  the way you communicate with those people? Would you describe your conversations with these people pleasant, enjoyable, comforting, rewarding, productive? Or would you describe them as unpleasant, disagreeable, upsetting, detrimental, and worthless? You see we all have those people in our lives, whether they are in direct relation to us or not, that we either view as positive or negative communication in our lives. As human beings we leave an impression on each other whenever we interact and those interactions can be graded on a scale of great to not-so-great. Specifically, I want to touch on the people in our lives that are not so easy to get along and communicate with. These are the people that no matter what they just seem to rub you the wrong way, get under your skin, and/or just seem to be out to get you. They seem as if they would rather do anything else but agree with you. They may take every opportunity to dig at you and  be the first to point out what you are doing wrong. And you may have good intentions but somehow this person just ruins or challenges that Christ-like attitude you are trying to embody. Maybe it is in the way they treat you, the way they speak to you, the way they talk about you to others. Or maybe you just get to the point where you don't care anymore. We all have those difficult people that we have either grown up with, deal with on a regular basis or come across in the course of our daily lives. What I have been thinking on lately is how we choose to respond to those people who sometimes seem so set out to stir up strife. How do we react? Do we fight back or do change course? Do we defend or do we evade? One of the words I think of is how to we counteract? Now after looking up this word I found some interesting synonyms for it that caught my attention: oppose, withstand, defeat. Now these words make it sound like you respond back with negative force right? But I have chosen to use this word as my keyword when I face people who aren't exactly pleasant to me. Let me tell you why. If someone receives a poison or an agent that is detrimental to their system, what is needed? A anti-venom or antidote that counteracts the negative force. It is a positive source overcoming the negative one.
This causes me to think about how we should use this theory in our own lives when we interact with those not so positive people in our lives. When they choose to spit poison at us, we have a choice. To either choke on it, let it consume us and return the favor, or stop it and overcome it with positive and opposite behavior.  ^"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21 (ESV)   Usually our first, fleshly human reaction when someone comes at us with unnecessary negative force, angry words, or a combative nature, we want to fight back and defend ourselves. Why? Because we want to preserve ourselves and we want to be in the right just as much as that person wants to be. Now maybe we are right and maybe we aren't, and that needs to be determined depending on the situation, but I am talking specifically about situations when someone clearly comes at us with intent of tearing us down without just cause. We will feel the need to naturally defend ourselves and we need to, to a certain extent, but I believe the most effective way to do that is not to fight fire with fire. But rather fire with an extinguisher. And even though it may go against every carnal, prideful fiber in your body, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Prov. 15:1) Sometimes the goal is not to win the argument. Sometimes the goal is not to be right. Sometimes the goal is to show God's grace to someone who may not deserve it. At the same time asking ourselves are we any more deserving? Nothing shuts an argument down more quickly than when one person decides to counteract with kindness instead of anger. A one-sided argument cannot stand. We have to face a battle not expecting to win by force, but to win by showing people what they never expected: Kindness, patience, love, forgiveness and faith. Now how do we do this because it is not like it comes naturally? We must pray continually for it and seek after it. God never said it would be easy in this life. He never said that everyone in this world would get along or have each other's best interests at heart. But He did create a way for us to overcome the negativity. He gave us the ability to grow in Him and His Holy Spirit to give us the strength to counteract the attacks. Yes it will be unfair at times, yes, it will seem as if our angry is justified, but when we react with sinful actions and words, we lose the battle no matter what. Yes we must stand up for ourselves but if all we do is shove back aimlessly and with the same venom used to try and destroy us, we do not change anything for the better. We only push that person farther away from the truth. "Turn...the other cheek" (Matt. 5:39) Surprise that person, make them wonder why you are not returning fire with fire. I believe by returning with Christ-like "anti-venom" it will cause them to think and question more than any angry words spoken in response will. Make them wonder why you choose to respond in kind rather than hate. It says in Romans 12:18: "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." This verse is in the section of Romans 12 that is often called the hallmarks of the Christian life. We should strive to be at peace with others in this world and show them the peace that God has given us through our salvation. I understand there are people in this world who may have hurt us physically, emotionally in the past and/or present and I do not make light of the deep scars we may receive...But I believe the consequences of letting the poison eat up our lives is far greater than the decision to take the antidote and learn to forgive those who have wronged us. No matter how evil the person intentions may seem there is still a God in heaven who loves them and wants a better life for them. We may be the only person in the world left who has the ability to show that person the light. And what does it say about us if we choose not to? Instead of just reacting, think of how to counteract the effects of the negative interactions in your day to day life. Be what somebody never expected and you just might come to an agreement you never expected.