Stepping Out on the Water

Hi everyone,
I am going to try and keep this post shorter than my usual. I want to again this week begin by asking a few questions and please really think about them. What would you do if you weren't afraid? What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail? What dreams and goals would you chase after if you knew that it was going to work out without a doubt? I have really been thinking on this, this past week. And honestly it has been a war back and forth of what I want and what God wants. I have wanted to say things but have been afraid to lay them out in the open which has caused me to ask myself more questions. Why am I afraid? And the conclusion that I keep coming to is, that I am too afraid of what other people will think. I am too afraid that I am not good enough, that it will be a flop. I am afraid I will be left standing alone with this shattered dream laying in my hands. Yet it is silly because I feel as if it is the very things that God is calling me to do because it is going to require me to step out in complete trust and faith. Do you ever feel that way too? You feel as if you should be doing something or working towards something but you feel that nagging uncertainty. The worry that things won't come through and that you are dreaming too big. We essentially put God in a box. We say, "I know Lord you are calling me in this direction" or may we even have a clear picture of what He is asking, but we are still standing, backs pressed up against the wall, afraid to step out onto the stage He is building for us. We can't see the end result or the big picture so we feel as if we can't move forward. Sometimes He only gives us barely the next step and is asking us to move out in blind faith that He will provide. And isn't it funny how we choose to believe sometimes in our actions that the God who created the whole universe cannot make His plans for us happen or that He somehow made a mistake when He chose us for our purpose in life? We are often like Peter in Matthew 14, who sees Jesus out on the water and steps out of the boat to go to Him in confidence at first but then when we see the waves of uncertainty we begin to doubt, take our eyes off of Jesus and start to sink. Many people in life sink and they don't reach out and takes Jesus's hand, they leave their callings and gifts on the ocean floor. I wonder how many of those people struggle with that the rest of their lives? Time waits for no man. But for those who do take His hand what amazing stories they have to tell! I am continually reminded that God doesn't choose the mighty and powerful in this world to make a difference. (1 Corinth. 1:26-29) He chose Peter who denied Him three times to be the rock upon which the early church was built. He chose Saul who lived the first part of his life killing Christians to become Paul, missionary to the early churches. He chose Moses, a murderer and a man of lowly speech, to speak in front of Pharaoh and lead God's people out of Egypt. He chose Esther, a young ordinary Jewish woman to be the queen of an empire. He chose Mary, a teenager to carry His Son, our Salvation. God makes of habit of choosing everyday, ordinary and even the most unlikely people to carry out some amazing missions. How quick we are to forget these things or think that God doesn't work like that anymore. We put God within boundaries because honestly sometimes, I think it is makes us feel safer and more comfortable. We have these hopes and aspirations of being the best we can be for His glory but when He presents us with ideas we balk and ask Him if He is serious. Now it is something that we should spend much time in prayer, reading His Word, and seeking to understand His will, but at a certain point we have to realize went it just becomes a means to drag our feet. And I'm here to say I have BIG time! I have a business idea that I have wanted to start for over a year now. In some ways I knew I wasn't ready a year ago but now I feel God's pressure in a new way. And perhaps not in the way I originally anticipated. What I have realized, is the past year I have been more concerned about making this business idea profitable and that in a sense has created a certain amount of stress because it never seems like the right time to start. But I believe God is calling me to see more the ministry aspect of it. I envisioned it to be a ministry opportunity when I came up with it, but I almost felt like it had to be more of business type deal before it could become a "ministry". I had to build up the money before I could do other things. I think now God is calling me to step out in complete faith and start doing His work, His way and in His order. I wanted to start a pony party business for children's birthday parties originally and I still would like to, but where my heart is really being drawn to is teaching and educating both children and adults alike about the amazing creature that the horse is. Whether that is at schools and/or various social groups. I want use horses as therapy for people in hospitals, rehab, and our veterans. I want to use horses as a ministry tool and give horse devotionals to different groups. Now these are all things that require faith and trust on my part, because 1. I am not a public speaker. 2. Essentially these things do not bring in funds, and I wish not to ask for such. Essentially is going to require me to rely on God completely to supply all that I need financially and equipment wise. 3. I may have a blog but I am not a social media, get the word out kind of person. I have to learn how to be a promoter in a good way. 3. I am terrified!! :D I want to do this so much but I feel like Moses who is staring at the burning bush in disbelief, questioning what and why God is asking me to do this. Doesn't He see my inadequacy, doesn't He see my weakness, doesn't He see my lack? But I am choosing to rest in the thought that He is going to use my faint heart and stammering tongue to do His will as He sees fit if I will only take the first step. There is also another idea that is in the works that I just need to voice. It is something that I have bounced around for several years and recently I have received some encouragement from people that I believe was God intended. I am considering the possibility of writing a book and specifically more along the lines of a devotional. Once again I have dealt with some fear with this because I honestly can't imagine anyone reading it but it has been something I have wanted to try for actually a long time now and God has kind of given me some direction on it lately. And if it is truly meant to be He will make it happen and I don't need to write a book to sell. I need to write because I honestly love it and I believe it is something I need to do at some point. So please be praying and I will probably be asking for some ideas of what people who read my blog would like to see in a devotional book as I feel if anyone would be inclined to read a book written by me it would be those of you who already read my posts every week! :) I am choosing to be transparent with you all and express all this so that I can maintain a certain level of accountability as I am still going to be dealing with some Moses "cold feet" from time to time. And I believe it is important to get other people involved. We need to stop being afraid of what others may think and utilize the relationships He gives us to be an encouragement for both us and the plans that God may be calling our bothers and sister in Christ towards as well.
Anyway, once again I ask you to really ask yourselves what would you do for God if you weren't afraid? What would you take the first step out on tomorrow or even today if you knew that it was going to all work out? And here is the cool thing that we forget and that I forget...no matter what happens, when we are doing what God is calling us to do, when we are in the center of His will, it will never be a failure. He always has a purpose and plan and if it means that through whatever we do we only help one person then we have succeeded. We plant the seeds and He gives the increase. If it means that through our weakness and not so perfect presentation that people see God working through us, then that will make it all worth. And that is honestly exciting because we don't have to be perfect or all the stars don't have to be aligned for us to follow His plan. He can use us wherever, whenever, and however; we just have to be willing to look past the fear, loose Him from the box in our minds and step out onto the water. Honestly, whatever happens I don't think I am going to regret it, rather I will regret it if I don't. How about you?


"I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you, will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6(ESV) 

A Heart Condition

Hi everyone,
So I want to ask a simple question. What is the condition of your heart? Now I am not talking about the physical condition of your ticker but rather what is the condition of your spiritual heart? This past week I have had some circumstances that have caused me to step back and examine my heart. And some things aren't so pretty and squeaky clean as I would like to admit. I let my inner selfish nature take over in a few instances this week and God is faithfully forgiving me and drawing me closer to His heart yet again. I also have been really observing the world and the people around me lately and noting the different heart conditions that are out there. I am doing a Bible study with a couple of friends and we have been going through Romans 12 for the past few months. This is one of the chapters in the Bible that is jammed packed with life altering information that it requires much more thought than you ever imagined. I feel if one chapter could sum up what the condition of our heart should be, this one is it. Recently in this Bible study we have been asked three important questions: 1. Who Am I? 2. Where do I belong? 3. What am I supposed to do? Each one presents us with a question of Identity, Security, and Significance. Each one requires us to look deep into ourselves and question our very outlook on life. Many people never ask these questions because they feel as if the are too "deep" or relevant to every day mundane life, but honestly they are the questions that define your whole life. What you think about this life and about yourself in turn affects how you think about what you do, how you act, how you process things, how you view others, and ultimately what condition your heart is in. As fleshly human beings we are born with natural sinful selfish desires. We are all born with insecurities and weakness as well as we are with strengths and free will to change. It doesn't take long for our hearts to be tainted but it is possible for us to redeem them.
Now what I have noticed with people lately and myself included is that we all have an agenda. We have "built in" hardwired desires, needs, emotions, strengths and weaknesses. It is what we choose to do with those things that determine the condition of our heart. It determines the ambience of our lives. We live in a world that gratifies "YOU". YOU are always worth it, YOU should treat yourself because you deserve it, YOU should do this because he/she couldn't ever deserve YOU, have it YOUR way, if it feels good to YOU then do it. It is all about YOU, YOU, YOU! Allow me to share a verse: "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think..." Romans 12:3 (ESV) As you can see the Bible is in contradiction to the all about ME attitude that the world seeks to ingrain in us from an early age and continues to every where we go on a daily basis. People using and abusing each other because they think they deserve to be satisfied. People using not so ethical means to become "successful" because they think they deserve it. People tearing other people down with their words because they think they are somehow superior. People living beyond their means because they think they are worth it all. We consume and consume and never pause to look back at the trail of broken hearts, friendships, marriages, careers, and homes we leave behind or perhaps we do and just fill ourselves with more junk to ease our consciences. We all are guilty of it to an extent and this week I learned how selfish I can be when I let go of God's hand even a little and turn to my own devices. My agenda was about me and you know what, it makes ME miserable and I think people, if they were really honest with themselves, would agree. It may feel good for a time, but I believe many people at one point or another feel the weight of their heart's attitude like a ball and chain. I believe many people deal with their identity and their insecurities so much in life that it eventually leaks out. It affects how they deal with themselves and with others.
Now what should our agenda really be? ""Do NOTHING from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 (emphasis mine) 

And back to Romans 12: "...present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual act of worship. (Vs. 1) 

These verses flip the whole world's mentality on its head. Our agenda should revolve around considering others more than ourselves and sacrifice instead of self-service. Instead of the let me get you to help me, it is let me help you, end of story. It is about serving God and others instead of serving ourselves. It is about worshipping Him not ourselves. Now because this does not come naturally as we all are born with a sinful nature to elevate ourselves we have to ask this question every time we face decisions, ever time we interact with someone. What is the condition or the agenda of my heart? Is it about how I can advance myself today, how I can impress the boss over Joe/Jill today, how I can get a compliment today, how I can make myself feel good at the expense of someone else's spouse or significant other, how I can get someone to give me something, how I can be successful? I should mention it is not wrong to want to better yourself and to want to make your boss happy they hired you, or that getting compliments is wrong. But we really have to question our motives and be totally and brutally honest with ourselves. It this just all about me? I have been watching lately how we as people jockey for position, hierarchy, and recognition in this life over each other at times. We want to prove ourselves to everyone. And honestly this isn't coming from a place of bettering ourselves for the benefit of others or the work place. It is to squelch our own insecurities and to please that inner desire to be praised for achievements. We view ourselves as better than others or in need of being more worthy than so and so when really, we all deal with many of the same issues and could learn so much more from just working together instead of against each other.

So how to we fix all this? How do heal our less than desirable heart condition? The first step is admitting that we have a problem. That we aren't so golden as we think we are. We need to stop worrying about ranting about other's problems and deal with our own. "...take the log out of your own eye..." Matthew 7:5 Only then will you be able to truly help others. You will never be perfect but you have to recognize that you can't ask someone else to do something that you wouldn't be willing to do yourself. Jesus didn't ask us to become living sacrifices for Him without it costing Him something and we all know how that story went. (Matthew 7) We need to come before a forgiving God and ask Him to cleanse us. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 And we need to remain in constant prayer throughout the day that God will work in our hearts and change them to an attitude of service and sacrifice to others. Because we all have our desires to be loved and seen as a person with a purpose in this life. But it starts by realizing that it isn't all about me. It isn't about how I can get the upper hand in every situation. Rather it is about, how I can show that you, God matter more than me today? That someone else matters more than me today? How can I sacrifice my wants for the sake of what someone else needs today? Even if that means I don't get a pat on the back, credit for my work, another $100 in my wallet, another win in my book or a plaque on the wall. When we choose to put someone above ourselves we gain something much greater. We gain true fulfillment, purpose, joy, satisfaction and our reward in heaven. Now we must understand that this not mean we allow ourselves to be walked over and cater to people who mean to harm us, but we need the heart that sees us all the same way. Sinners that are all equally undeserving of God's forgiveness but yet He extends it to us all. In the same way we need to extend that to others instead of shooting for our pedestal amongst the stars. What are our true motives and heart condition when it comes to life and others? How is our heart truly? What comes out of our mouths and actions on a weekly basis? Does it say how can I gain in this situation or how can I be of service? How can win or how can I help you so that we can win together? Because let me tell you nothing is worth seeing someone lose at life because of our selfish desires to be top dog. It kills me to see others do it and does that have the same affect in my soul when I fail too? It should because Christ didn't go to the cross for His own acclamation. He did it because He loved us that much even when we were dirty, even when our sins nailed Him there. What state is our heart in? Do we love that much to give up our own will to be a vessel for God's work? It has to start with the heart. 

"The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45 (ESV)

Safe and Sound

Hi everyone,
So my mind has been dwelling on a flurry of topics this week of many things going on in my little world and the world at large and thanks to a little help from one of my fuzzy friends today I have my post for this week. ;) I was brushing little Bella who is the newest member to my family as of this past late fall. We are still working on getting her over her shyness and there is something I realized as I was spending time her that caused me to think on a much larger scale. When I brush her I have to be quiet and soft with my movements and even then from time to time she can get tense and uncertain. But, what I learned today is when I sing or hum she relaxes significantly. You can see the change in her eyes and her body language. She seems much more at peace and calm. Now I can pat myself on the back a little and say I must not be that terrible of singer then haha!!! But no really, it is quite remarkable to see the change. Ok so other than the point of I might be crazy because I am singing "My Only Sunshine" to a miniature horse :D there is a point to all this...
I began thinking about all the upset that has been going on in this country and between its citizens as of lately and even in just the past week. It seems like so many people are on edge and can't seem to relax and just enjoy life anymore because they are worried about what might happen in the near future. People are angry at each other and pointing fingers in our government and that has trickled down into our very communities. There is this sense of unease and discord in our society. Just as Bella is, we are tense and on edge, doubting, wondering what is going to happen.
And then the singing led me to realize the very thing that Bella needed. She needs to know that she is safe and sound. She needs to know that she is secure and that she has nothing to be afraid of. Much like a mother's song that put us to sleep as children or a father's words of assurance, it makes her feel more at peace. And as I thought more and more about this, it came to make sense to me on a much larger scale. We as humans need to know we are safe and sound. We have that desire to be secure which can be manifested in many ways, whether it is through the love and support of our families and spouses, financially, socially, in the work-force, or in our beliefs. We have this desire to feel safe and protected. And when we don't feel secure we get tense and fearful until we lash out. Society today is scared. For some this brings out different aspects, some productive and some destructive. And often in this day and age, that means finding of safety and security is not always the right thing. For politicians it is wealth and power, for activists it is having all of their agendas passed, for celebrities it is getting awards every couple of months it seems, for others it is drugs, alcohol, sex, and possessions. Everyone is searching for that security, that validation that everything is going to be okay if they have a certain thing or something goes their way or if they can fool themselves long enough into believing that, that something is what they need to take away the fear. But really they momentary fixes that don't give lasting peace at all.
So this world much like Bella needs a song. Ok not like the Sound of Music type stuff...but rather particular words. Words from a heavenly Father who is the only One who can truly assure that safety and security. This country has become so set on having a shouting match at each other that we cannot hear the words that truly need to be said. The song that needs to be sung. That every life is valued by God and that all the peace in the world can be found when we put the sticks down and find the anchor for our souls in Him. Violence isn't created by the objects used, it is created in the hearts of people who use them, who are angry and upset because they are insecure about who they are. Banning objects solves nothing. If I removed everything that spooked Bella or for any of my horses for that matter, then there would be nothing left of their world. If I threw away the brush and walked away and never touched her again, what would I solve? Nothing. Instead I have to be persistent, doing what I know is the right thing to do and speaking or singing to her in love. "Speaking the truth in love..." Eph. 4:15 (NIV) In the same way people need to learn to stop screaming at each other, destroying things, banning everything, and start looking each other in the eye, seeing another fellow human being and explaining our viewpoints in firm persistent love knowing that we all aren't going to see eye to eye and we can reach an agreement despite that. The truth must be spoken, Bella has to learn how to function with me in her life, but we can find peace. But that peace can only be found when people feel safe in who they are, what they are doing, and where they are going. And honestly only God Himself can be the solution to all of those things and it isn't always going to be what everyone in this world wants to hear. But when they hear the song that was meant for them instead of the one that they have allowed their brains to accept, then they will never find the security they so desperately seek. And so there will be more protests, more bans, more murders, more scandals, more power struggles, more fear. Until people start hearing the words of a Father who loves them too much to let them go. To feel the touch of kind hand from someone who wants to share with them the truth...that they can be safe and sound. And when you have that safety and security, yes things can upset you and you still need to stand for the truth, but ultimately God has got a plan and everything is under His control no matter what. We need not worry for our future is sealed. And the reason I believe that we are still here today and that this world and Jesus has not come back yet is that even though things are hard God is not finished yet. There are people that still need to hear the truth and feel His love. We still have a job to do. Voices that need to be heard, and words that need to be spoken. A song that will melt away the fear and instill the hope that things can be different. And peace will come.

The Lord is my light and my salvation,
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life,
of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm27:1 (NIV)

I Am Doing Just Fine...Or Am I?

Hi everyone,
Have you ever gotten stuck in a rut? You hit a plateau in your life and things are just pretty much routine? A pattern where you think you are doing just fine? I mean you are surviving right and getting along fairly comfortably? You are pretty confident that you are generally a good person, perhaps who is generally willing to lend a helping hand to others. You don't go out and do anything blatantly immoral or intentionally set out to stir the pot and cause strive with someone. You're confident in your salvation but living under the guise of  just a good person living a good life for the most part and that is "good" enough for you.
So I have a confession to make...plenty of times I have been that person. And lately God has convicted me with a sense of urgency on how dangerous this mindset can be. My personality generally by rule tells me to  "blend in", "don't make waves", "don't do something that will cause people to stare at you"...for the most part I like to be on the low key of things and pretty content to fly under the radar. Not that it is bad to have a quieter personality as a constant "look at me" attitude can be a detriment to your character, but what I have particularly been feeling lately is that when our spiritual lives are in this camouflage focus, it can be very damaging and not just only to ourselves but to others as well.
I have been thinking on the late Billy Graham's life lately. Irregardless of what you think personally of the man's life and ministry, we can all agree he had a major impact in this world. A legacy that continues even beyond his life on earth. It is amazing the amount of people he spoke to and reached in his lifetime. I just want you to remember one particular thing that I will touch on later...no matter what you think about his ministry, he "sowed" the seeds, and God is the one who "grew" the harvest. As the Apostle Paul states in 1 Corinthians 3:6-9 "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God's fellow workers..." (ESV)  No matter how many people actually took Mr. Graham's messages to heart and made a life change, it doesn't matter in the sense of he was not in charge of that, God was. It simply was His job to preach the Word of God with the platform that God gave him and He was faithful and did. God brought the increase. Mr. Graham did not blend in by any means when it came to his spiritual beliefs. People who are non-Christians even know who he was and what his message was about. Which leads me to ask the question...do people know without a doubt who you are? When you meet people, how quickly would they figure out that you are a Christian? Would it be evident or would they even be able to tell? Am I embodying Matthew 5:14-16? "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." I have asked myself these questions as of late.
As a Christian are you blending in as simply a good person on a plateau in life? Have you reached this point where you are basically saying this is as good as it is going to get so I am fine with who I am right now? I mean I am better than so and so, and I know I am going to heaven so that makes me A-ok. You think that you are doing all these good things and going to church every Sunday but during the week you are just skating through on what is "okay" or passible. Honestly God has brought me to guilt over this. I have unknowingly convinced myself that as long as I am doing daily bible devotion, trying to memorize Scripture, praying, and trying be kind as whole, that I am doing just fine and that is all to be expected out of me. And the answer is no! When I die, I don't want to remembered as merely a good person who loved God within the four walls of her house but left it at the threshold when she walked out the door. I want to be remembered as someone who used ever last ounce of strength in me for the benefit of God's kingdom in private and in public. I want Him to push me to be something beyond my limited vision for myself. I need to feel uncomfortable and convicted because I need to wake up to His calling instead of being content to blend in with the crowd. I believe it is such a tragedy of being mediocre and just getting by in this life when there is so much we could be doing.
And something that I have realized is this...people are always watching you. When people see in general that you are different than the norm and especially once you claim to be a follower of Christ, they watch, even if you don't think they are. Just as little children watch and mimic their parents, people continue to observe those around them  even as they grow older. Honestly, I think we underestimate the effect we can have on other people's lives. The power we have to be either a light or a hindrance, an encouragement or a stumbling block. The power to encourage people towards the truth or away from it. Sometimes we might, but most times we will never know what impact we have left in people's lives, we will never know what our words may have meant to someone, or how our acts of sacrifice and kindness may have touched someone. But I believe God uses that to remind us, that our knowing is not what it is about. It is not about our own edification or knowing how people feel about us. That could either give us a big head or discouragement. (Romans 12:3) It is about the purpose and motive in our hearts to do all that we can for His glory and honor. And to me that is true love for our fellow man. That we love them enough that we care more about their needs and eternal decision than we do about being loved equally in return. That is radical love and I want it. I want the world to see that I am different not because of anything that I have done but because of all that He has done. I want them to not see me but to see Him in me. All good that comes out of me is from Him. Apart from Him my life has no purpose and I can do nothing without Him. How many times have I gave in? How many times have I walked away? How many words I have held back because I was afraid...but afraid of what? Reputation can always be marred by human opinions. But your character speaks for itself. We need to be real and acknowledge to others we do still have our struggles, but at the same time apologize when we have failed and commit to becoming better. We need to strive every day to go above and beyond the status quo. We need to not neglect the gifts that God has given us. (1 Peter 4:10, Romans 12:6-8) There is only one of us in the whole world and God has given us a job to do and that job does not end until we draw our last breath. We cannot get caught up in the lulls of life and we cannot waste our time on this earth. Now the devil will feed us lies that tell us that we are only one person and that we cannot make a difference, and it doesn't matter but trust me we can! "...For truly I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20 I can't imagine that Billy Graham had any idea of what his decision to follow Christ wherever He led would become. Remember our job is to "sow" the seeds and "water" them. God will do the rest. But if we sit back and just say that we are doing good enough then I am afraid we are missing out on God's best. He wants to use us in mighty ways, but unfortunately I feel very few actually take that calling or stick with it. These are hard times in our country right now, full of division and strife and the world is watching on. How are we going to react? Are we going merely just survive, look at each other and expect the other to make the first move, or take up the gauntlet and be a light in the darkness? God needs our best, not our "good enough". He wants to continually work in us and grow us. We need His fire back in our hearts to reach out to those around us and to starting speaking the words that need to be heard and doing the things that need to be done. We need Him to break our hearts for what breaks His. Now this doesn't mean that everybody is meant to speak in front of thousands of people at one time in a stadium and believe me that is OK! Maybe it is speaking to that one person in your neighborhood, church, or work who really needs some encouragement. Maybe it is reaching out to the youth in your community who are to become the future leaders of this country. Maybe it is speaking with tough but compassionate love to someone who is making bad choices and are on the path to self destruction in their life. Maybe it is simply standing beside someone in a difficult time. One thing I am learning is that nothing we do for others is insignificant. The smallest gesture can occupy the largest part of someone's heart. We can do all the bible studies in the world, donate money to every mission our church is part of, pray elaborate prayers, and have our private time every day with Him but if it doesn't drive us to do anything in response then what purpose are we really serving? Let His words drive us to our knees in prayer and then rise up, take up the cross and start walking. "So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, 'You have faith and I have works.' Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works." James 2:17-18 (Really encourage you to read the whole passage verses 14-26) Let people know without a doubt who you are and what you stand for before you even speak a word. Let them look at you and see Christ in you. Let them watch you and want what you have found in Him. Leave a legacy that doesn't die with you but lives on in the hearts and minds of others. "And when we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be!"

A Grateful Heart

Hi everyone,
Got a question for you....would you consider yourself a thankful person? A grateful person? I have generally considered myself as a pretty thankful person until my eyes have been opened I should say lately. And I have found out that I am not near as grateful I should be. I have been trying to read a Psalm about every day and I am currently at Psalm 36. During my reading up to this point I have been noticing a trend with David's writing and that is no matter what the circumstances: good or bad, or what he is dealing with the words "rejoice", "praise", "gladness",  and "joy" continue to come up. Even the times when David is lamenting about how rough his current circumstances are, he still praises God and speak of His goodness.
I have been thinking a lot lately about what makes a life "good". Is it how much we have in our bank accounts, how successful we are at our jobs, how much we have as far as possessions, friends, and recognition in our social circles? Now David's life was not so grand all the time. For as many times there was good there was not so good. He may have slayed Goliath, been king and enjoyed all the benefits that being king brought but he also had his fair share of hard times. He was pursued by Saul who wanted to kill him and lived on the run for a time and he also fell into sin during his reign as king for which he later paid the price. But through it all David managed to praise God with heart of recognition for what God had done for him, even if it was punishment or blessings.
Now I have not been pursued by people set out to kill me or have experienced the luxuries or temptations of being a ruler over a nation, but God is showing me that if a man who went through so much can have such a grateful heart to Him then I need to do some serious thinking about my own heart. Do I really express gratefulness on a daily basis or do I just get caught up in the every day grind of life? When I stop, quiet my mind, and look around, I begin to realize things that I have taken for granted. I  have some how allowed myself to think I  have deserved them because I have worked hard, lived a "decent" life so far and never got into deep trouble. The actual answer is no. Everything I have been given in this life is due to God. Yes, I have worked and saved up for things and accomplished things in my life, but God is the one who has truly guided it all and allowed it to come to pass. Giving me the wonderful godly parents that raised me with morals, truth, and love even when it was hard. The ability to go to an awesome college and grow in my knowledge of the Bible, ministry and equestrian studies. Dear family and friends that have stood by me and been such an encouragement in my life. An awesome job that I love that has allowed me to have a place of my own with my "fur" babies and so much more. Amazing bosses and coworkers who have become my extended family and put up with me. ;) A church family that builds me up. The opportunity to become a small business owner at 24. As I look back everything was guided by God. The pattern of all that has fallen into place can not be by "chance" or "fate" but by His hand.
Now have I always acknowledged this as I should?... no I have not. I have grown complacent, desired the next thing, and taken all that I have for granted. That is somehow a given. And reading Psalms has reminded me that it is not all just a given. As quickly as we can have all these things, they can be taken away in a split second. What we thing we have or what we are going to have, can be changed in an instant. Also if we can't be truly grateful for what we have now, how do we think that something else is going to make us feel that way? We need to open our eyes to blessings all around us. We need to look at our lives with fresh eyes. We need to shut off the world's megaphone blasting of all things we still "need" to possess and look around and see what we already do. The love of our families, spouses, children, the roof over our heads, the ability to pay our bills, food on the table every day, a car to drive, a job to go to, hobbies that we enjoy, pets that bring us happiness, bodies that allow us to get up every morning. Because so many people out there have so much less. So many people out there don't have the abilities we have or the freedoms we have. To sit back at the end of every day and instead of seeing what have and being grateful for it, wishing for and pouting over what we don't is and I am going to be completely honest: downright selfish. And I am going to be the first to admit I have been selfish. I have been blinded to the beauty of the life I have been given and I have not been grateful every day. I have not praised God for is goodness every day because I have chosen to see the darkness instead of the light. I have chosen to believe the devil's lie that I "deserve" more when I don't even deserve God's grace. But if there is something to be grateful for it is this: "But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 (HCSB)
God chose us even when He saw the underserving ungrateful sinners we were. He came to give us an abundant life. "A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance." John 10:10 This does not mean that everything will be a gravy train and that hard times won't come, but God wants us to realize all that we have, even through rough times. With Him we are the most blessed people on the face of the earth because we have hope beyond anything we can possess in this world. We have His love and eternal life if we simple choose to accept it and live for it!
Please know that every time we step out your front door it is a blessing, every time we look into a loved one's eyes it is a blessing, every time we receive a paycheck it is a blessing(no matter how many taxes are being taken out ;), whenever we sit down with a full stomach it is a blessing, whenever we receive a text or letter from a friend it is a blessing, when we lay our heads down on our pillows at night in warmth and safety it is a blessing!!
I am asking God to create a heart of true gratefulness in me. I want to take advantage of and enjoy the simplest joys of life. I want to show true appreciation for those around me and in my life. Don't just assume that the people in your life already know it. I am guilty of this because often I am afraid expressing my feelings, that people won't understand. But if this is you, don't be afraid, most people want real not perfect. And if you think that expressing appreciation shows emotional weakness, let me tell you that couldn't be farther from the truth. Take the time to show it, speak it, and live it. Psalm 34:1 says: "I will praise the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips." We are to continually and vocally praise our God for all that He is done and will continue to do. "...For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart." Matthew 12:34 This verse is a good gauge for our level of thankfulness. Do we speak with gratefulness or does bitterness come out? What is coming out of our mouths every day to God and to others? Are we truly praising God for what He has done or complaining about what we don't have. Now understand that it is not wrong to desire to better your life and to wish for certain things, but understand there is a fine line between desiring what is truly beneficial or what is actually an idol in our lives. Test it against Scripture. Look at what you already have ask yourself, if I cannot be grateful for what I have now, how can I be entrusted with more?
So just as we are to be continually praising God and being thankful for His blessings in our lives take that as a reminder to be outwardly thankful to the other people in our lives. Don't take them for granted. Tell them how grateful you are for them, spend time with them, send them a text or a letter, do little things for them to make their lives easier, be there for them. Cherish and take care of the possessions you do have, be good stewards of what you have been given or what you are in charge of. Gratefulness is not just lip service, remember it overflows from the heart...it is an action as well. David "danced before the Lord", he played music, he sang. Also it is a great testament to others. So many out there are searching for joy. So many are going through dark times. If they can see joy in our hearts that isn't based solely off of our possessions and status in the world, but off of something greater, that is going to raise questions. A thankful heart no matter what is going on in our lives is going to be eye catching to people. For those of us who have been blessed with a relatively "easy" life up this point we'd better be humbled and use our thankfulness not as a flag to be waved in front of those who are struggling, but as a call to share our good fortune with others. We have a job to do and I pray to God we don't waste what He has given us. Those who are currently struggling very real, very ugly, battles right now: God loves you beyond what anyone could do for or say to you in your current situation and He can create joy out of nothing if you seek Him. Don't take my word for it, take His.
So we all have a choice. To be grateful every day of our lives and express this gratefulness or to let the day to day routine numb us to the blessing that life is. The devil seeks to blind us from the beauty, the hope of this life;  may we not let him win. Join me by getting into the Word, studying what it means to have a truly thankful heart and what that life looks like to the world. It will take time and yes even a certain amount of discipline. In a way it is a habit that must be created if it not something we do already on a daily basis. Make the time to spend even if it is just one minute a day, to reflect and thank God for what He has given you or done for you. I think you will realize quickly that a minute doesn't become long enough and my hope is that we will grow into continually praising Him for is goodness, mercy, and grace in our lives all the day long. In the words of one of my favorite hymns from Frances J. Crosby, who I may add became blind shortly after birth: " Perfect submission, all is at rest. I in my Savior am happy and blest. Watching and waiting, looking above. Filled in His goodness, lost in His love. This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long; This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long." It honestly brings me to tears, imagining a woman who went her whole life without seeing the things that we enjoy in this beautiful world, praising God completely when she could have very easily chosen to be bitter. Now that is a heart of true and pure gratefulness. That is a heart I want, how about you?

Our True Love

Hi everyone!
So I have been pondering about this post for a couple of weeks now. It is February and if you have turned on the TV, listened to the radio, walked into a store, or basically went anywhere, then you know the big deal about this month: Valentine's Day. Now as a single gal it is no secret Valentine's Day is not exactly the one I look forward to every year. Being completely honest I have been on both sides of the spectrum...well both polar opposite sides of the me plus zero spectrum. Feeling sorry for yourself and wondering where you went wrong, to disdain for anything romantic and "true love is dead" mentality. But I have to say this year is different...and no this is not the part where I make some grand announcement about some great guy I have met. I am still unattached as they come, but let me tell you I have discovered my love life. This past month I have been discovering more about someone who has been in love with me before I was even born. Someone who knew what I would look like, what my personality would be, what my gifts would be, what my hopes and dreams would be, what my weaknesses would be, and what my struggles would be. And through the struggles I have faced in the past few weeks that have led me to face some insecurities in my life, I have experienced what I would call nothing short of "TRUE love". Can I tell you more about this dream date? They "know me" and "understand my thoughts", they know my habits, likes and dislikes and "my ways", they know my mind and what I want to say before I say it, they will "hold on to me" no matter where I run when I am afraid (And believe me I am good at running away), their thoughts over me are more than I can fathom, they "outnumber the grains of sand", and when I wake up they are still there. They never leave me when I mess up and fall short. They don't let me push them away when I feel not good enough. They love me no matter what. Sounds like the traits many of us desire in a significant other right? Loyalty, honesty, understanding, forgiveness, and encouragement. Now who is this amazing person? Well He is better than any mere human being. He is our God and Savior Jesus Christ. The other day I read Psalm 139 which is the chapter to which I referenced above in italics. When I read it, I had one of those revelation moments and honestly I lost it. Psalm 139 is not considered by most biblical scholars to be a love letter to us, but I felt as if I was reading one and it broke me. All I have ever wanted is to be understood, for people to take the time to get to know me, know what I like and don't like, know what makes me smile and laugh, be there for me when I am hurting and when I am happy, to love me when I mess up and to never give up on me. And here I was reading these words: "Lord, You have searched me and know me." (vs. 1) The word "know" as been used in the Bible to refer to the upmost level of intimacy. The intimacy that is found in marriage relationships, to truly belong to someone body and soul. "You understand my thoughts from far away". (vs. 2) He understands me in a world where I often feel as if no one does and when sometimes I can't even understand myself. "...Your thoughts...how vast their sum is! If I counted them they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake I am still with You." (vs. 17,18) He is thinking about me all the time and never leaves my side.
This caused me to really ponder about the upcoming holiday of Valentine's Day. I mean there is a reason why even as early as January 2nd we are bombarded by hearts, cupids, chocolate, flowers, cards, and everything sappy and romantic. Because people crave it. There is reason why jewelry stores really push ads during this time, why about every store has a Valentine's section, and why kids pass out valentines at parties at school. Because love is a big deal to people. Human nature craves to be loved, understood and appreciated by people. We want to be worth something and we try to find that validation from people. Now we also know how that can goes as well. Broken hearts, binge eating discount chocolate, sitting on the couch watching chic flicks with a box of tissues...and I digress...but anyway Valentine's Day can be one of the happiest and saddest days of the year for people. Now I can also go on about how I don't really get the Valentine's Day hype because why should we choose just one day out of the year to do something "extra" special for our significant others. I mean shouldn't that be something you do more often than one day a year? But I think the root of this holiday comes from our simply desire to be wanted by someone. For us to be the center of someone's universe even if it just for one day.
If only everyone could realize what I am starting to realize in my thick skull. ;D That we already are the center of Someone's universe. The Creator of the universe. He is so deeply in love with us that knew us before we were even born. He created us in our mother's womb (Ps. 139:13) He watches all that we do and protects us. He loves us so much that He gave up His son for us even when we were underserving. (Rom. 5:8) Honestly let it sink in that a perfect God can love us that much when a human being can walk out on us for almost anything now days. This world has turned love into a game, a fake reality show, a money making scheme, when the whole time God is standing waiting for us to figure out he isn't leaving when we run out of money, lose our job, don't go to the gym or the salon every month, or more wrinkles start to show. When things get tough and our ugliness and sinful nature comes out He doesn't run away. He sometimes has to show us tough love but He helps us through it even when it's hard. We have been accepting the world's cheap imitation of love and missing out on the real thing.

Now based off of this revelation, this has led me to a new outlook on Valentine's Day. Each and everyone of us is created uniquely by God. We have "been remarkably and wonderfully made". (Ps. 139:14) We all have our different personalities, characteristics, quirks, and talents that make us unmatched to any other person in the world. There is only one YOU in this world and there will never be another one exactly like you again. So the comparison games MUST stop and believe me it isn't easy but we can do it. Acknowledge that when God looks at you and sees you for all that you are: the good and the bad, the strengths and the weaknesses; He still LOVES you. Now this also means that He loves you enough to show what you need to work on as well. He loves you enough to push you towards His truth even if it isn't comfortable at times. We must recognize sin and flee from it. Now days people will walk away instead of showing someone they love them enough to push them towards godly excellence in their lives so do not take godly chastising lightly. Be grateful He loves us enough to chastise us when we are in the wrong.

Also Valentine's Day has become just one of the many days I have decided to celebrate a God who created me in His image, who loves me enough to tell when I need to straighten up and who encourages me every day when I need it. I want to celebrate the God who loves me more than any human being ever will. I also want to celebrate all those in my life who have loved me, stood by me and been an encouragement to me. Valentine's Day is generally been viewed as mainly for couples but I think there are many of those in our families and friends who deserve our wholehearted thanks for sacrificing for us and being there for us when we needed them. Show that you appreciate them and their love for you. If you are single go out with other single friends or a family member whose spouse has passed away.
And lastly, instead of dwelling on a relationship that I may not have, I want to take the time to show my fellow man that I care. There are of course different kinds of love and what we show to our spouses and family are not the same as what we show to everyone we just meet, but we must recognize that every human being has a purpose and has a need to be loved. So many of them don't know God's love or they feel completely lost. We need to be the one who shows them a glimpse of God's love. A simple act of kindness: opening the door for someone, a smile in the checkout line, a "how are you" to a random stranger who doesn't expect it, patience with someone who is struggling. Everyone needs to know that they are loved beyond compare by God. I have been doing an experiment lately and trying to becoming better at showing godly compassion to others I come in contact with and I am honestly surprised at the results I get. I hope to share more about this in a future post, but the main point that I am trying to get across and I have been writing a book to get to is: Valentine's Day I have decided does not have to be just for those in a relationship and those who are can do so much more.
For those of us who are in relationships and maybe even more so for those of us who are not, we should take the time to recognize the greatest love of all. The love our Heavenly Father has for us and how we should respond to that. If you truly love someone what do you do? You usually spend time with them, think about them often, try and do things that make them happy. Do we do these things for the One who loves us unconditionally? Or do we put Him off for just one day of the year? Do we tell Him we are too busy or we can't do that because we might have to sacrifice a little something? How can we expect to fully love our spouses or potential future spouses if we can't even take the time to love the One who gave everything for us? I personally want to fall in love with my God more and more and fully put on the true meaning of love before I have a plus one because I want to give him my all. Therefore I need to make God my all.
Instead of focusing on what earthly love we do or do not have, maybe we should spend more time on reading about His love for us and how we are to share that love with others. Love is to be selfless. Maybe we should work on putting on the characteristics of love in our hearts than expecting to receive it all the time from others. Or maybe we should stop lying on the couch thinking that we have some disease that makes us unlovable and start living as people who have a faithful God. (Jer. 31:3) Whether or not you are single or attached this Valentine's Day put on a mindset that you are very much loved by the single most important Person who could ever be in your life. He is our Valentine and our True love. Only until we are able to be loved by Him can we truly love others. Let people see the joy in your life as you let God's love pour through you and out of you. Let that be you mission. Go out on a date with God this February 14th. I know I am and I am excited. Strive to "know" Him better and better each and every day beyond that. It will be so rewarding, trust me I can feel it!

"For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!" Romans 8:38-39 (HCSB) 

Running the Race

Hello everyone,
So yesterday with Brooklyn, my mom and I went on a dog hike/scavenger hunt put on by our local state park. It was a great way to get out in the middle of the winter slump and enjoy time in the woods with four-legged friends. Throughout the park on trails there were markers that you had to find worth different amounts of points. Whoever at the end of the day had collected the most points won a prize at the end. Now my mother and I figured this would be a pretty simple task as we walk regularly at the park, until we got our map and realized that almost every trail in the park had these markers on them and we only had about 4 hours to get as many as we could. Now we really wanted the prize(free year park pass) and we decided we were going to do our best to come in first. It was funny because this casual day of hiking turned into two woman treating it like it was the Amazing Race and we had to strategize and maximize our time to get to our goal. This was pretty serious business and we got really into it! By the time it was all said and done we hiked on six different trails and covered just about 9 miles with Brooklyn towing me along towards the end. We were utterly exhausted and my legs have never been so sore, but at the end of the day we won our prize! But I got to admit going to the park to hike doesn't sound so grand right now, haha!

Now people who know me really well, know that my mind likes to process and dig out meaning beyond the face value of most things.  For example, a horseback ride is not just a horseback ride for me and a hike is not just a hike for me. It is an event that triggers deep thoughts, often spiritual thoughts about life and the world around me. So this day was not any different. As I have thought more about it more, a verse came to my mind. "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it." 1 Corinth. 9:24 (ESV) In this verse Paul is not actually talking about a physical race like in the Olympics but is referring to the spiritual race of the calling of Christ. Even though what we were doing was not an actual foot race, it was a "race" against the clock to see what all we could get accomplished and how far we could go before time was up. I relate this to our spiritual life. We gave a goal, a prize, that we want to reach before our life. For our physical race we had to have our gear: appropriate clothing and shoes, map, snacks and anything that helped us on our hike. In the same way we have to have our salvation, the Holy Spirit, the Bible and other things to help us on our spiritual journey. During the hike because we wanted to win the prize of the park pass we had to strategize and maximize our efforts to accomplish what we needed to. Sometimes that meant changing our original plans due to unforeseen circumstances. In the same way in our spiritual walk, we need to think about the best way to accomplish our calling from God and follow His "map" the Bible, but understand that sometimes things will not always go according to our plan. Therefore, there will be times where we will have to adjust and refocus on what He is asking of us. Despite the things that distracted us at times on our hike we kept our goal in focus which kept us driving on productively. "So I do not run aimlessly..."   1 Corinth. 9:26 Even in our spiritual lives the things that seek to distract us must be overruled by our focus on the prize so we are not "running" in circles but actually getting closer to our goal. Now I want to be clear, this does not mean that everything is a rush in this life and that we neglect to take the time to grow in the ways we need to. We had to stop on the trail and make sure that we were writing down our markers correctly otherwise they would not have done us any good being wrong. In the same way, if we want to succeed, we have to take our time to make sure we are stopping to do what God asks of us along the way so that when we get to the end we have truly accomplished His calling. Not in our frenzy to be super-spiritual Christian who is more deserving and above everyone else.
Now what exactly is this spiritual prize? I believe Paul states it best in Philippians 3:14: "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward calling of God in Jesus Christ." The upward calling that ultimately leads to our home in heaven with our Lord and Savior. This is the greatest prize we could ever run after. God's calling in our lives is so important and I have realized just as we were so intent on earning our earthly prize yesterday, I need to take that same fervor towards my spiritual race. I need to have the same determination even when I getting tired and "sore" to keep on pressing forward towards what will make it all worth it. ..."forgetting what lies behind and straining toward to what lies ahead." Phil. 3:13 We have to learn from and move on from what we laid down in our past, what Christ has forgiven us from. We have to move on from what trips us on the trail. We have to put off our sin. We have to carry on with a desire in our hearts to be the best we can be for what God is calling us to do. There are things in my life that have been weighting me down and preventing me from "running my race" to the best of my ability. Weariness has clouded my vision at times. I want to throw those things aside and keep going even when it is hard, even when it seems all uphill, and even when I am exhausted. And honestly, it makes me wonder as Christians, how would our lives be different if we started chasing after our calling with as much fervor as we do for the physical trophies in our lives, the job advancements, the recognition of others, and the success of those we see in magazines? If we put that much effort into reaching God's goals for our lives how much different would our spiritual life be? I think we would be much more joyful and fulfilled. So as I am sitting here resting my aching muscles but feeling satisfied at the accomplishment, I can't help but wonder what it would be like to get to heaven and rest my soul for eternity as I sit at the feet of the Father: my ultimate prize and my ultimate treasure, satisfied I gave everything I had. Let us get into His Word and run the race with the determination to see His face and to hear a job well done.

"Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight , and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1