Care too Much?

Hi everyone, 

So a couple of things hit me over the course of this week that ultimately have become intertwined with one another. It is amazing how God brings about truth that speaks into our lives. Truths that are self-evident in our lives.(Get my reference ;) So recent events had caused me to think about how I come across to the people in my life and who God brings across my path. In this particular case it was people I know, but it was a situation where I was left wondering afterwards if I had come across the wrong way and the more and more I dwelt on it the  more and more it bothered me. Now I have the tendency to worry a little too much about things that aren't really an issue and there is a fine line between caring too much about what people think vs. God, but this caused legitimate worry. And I had to make sure that it wasn't an issue. Afterwards I began to think about it more in depth...why did I care so much? It probably wasn't a big deal but why was I so concerned about what image it may have projected? And like a waterfall after hard spring rains,  it all came crashing down....because I cared. CARED. Now that may seem as insignificant word but I think that word holds such great meaning. I want the people that I come in contact with on a regular basis to know that I care. I care about them, I care about how I treat them, I care about how I respond to them, I care about how I come across to them because I would never want to come across anyway than the warmth of Christ. I definitely do not always succeed but at the end of the day I want that to be my ambiance towards everyone I come in contact with. Obviously we have people who are near and dear to our hearts, but that warmth should go our to everyone.So as I sat down and thought about more in depth why I care so much it didn't stop there...I began thinking about how I came across in my day to day life to everyone, and then I began to think about all the suffering people in this world and honestly I broke. I found myself praying desperately on the behalf of people I didn't even know, begging for the ability to take people's suffering away, pleading with God that I wouldn't reach the end of my life leaving people with the impression that I didn't care. There are always those people that get under our skin but instead of being angry maybe we should choose to see them through God's eyes of compassion. A verse came to my mind that has just spoken to me recently and that is Psalm 126:6 "He who goes out weeping, bearing seed the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him." (ESV) Now let me tell you right now, this verse is SO critical for our work as laborers for Christ. We should be different than most people in the world today. 

 I can be a pretty emotional person. This is no news to the people who already know me. At the same time I often hate to show emotion because I have grown up in world that often says showing emotion, crying(weeping) is a sign of weakness. I have battled with this for so long and I still do, but what I felt this past week as I hit a breaking point, wasn't weakness. It was empowerment. Because I felt the love of God for me spill over in love for other people. I felt alive, not ashamed. And Psalm 126:6 confirms it. If we want to reach people, if we want to show people we care, if we want to show people the love of God, if we want to save souls, we have to show people truly matter to us. Now this doesn't mean we go out sobbing everywhere, but honestly if our heart doesn't break over those around us then we need to consider the state of our heart. Our hearts need to ache for the lost. They need to be concerned about how we love each other and how we show the love of Christ through us. We need to care MORE. God does not shine as noticeably through a complacent heart that acts like everyone is to be ignored if they don't somehow "contribute" to our lives. He shines through a heart that is raw and open and seeks to show others a little bit of light in a ever darkening world. I don't want to apologize anymore for worrying about being too "nice" or "caring" too much. Let it be said I was too nice. Let it be said I was too caring. Because there are plenty of times when the devil succeeds in snuffing out people's joy. Plenty of enough times when he convinces people that no one cares. I want to fight that. Which means that I have to become more broken on a regular basis. I cannot be come numb to others as often fall into in my selfish human nature. I have to go to the feet of God every day and ask for a renewed love for the people of this world. Insight on how I can show those around me that I care instead of being blind to there feelings. Because if we go out with hearts weeping for souls, we will come back with shouts of joy of the people we are able to give hope to. People notice compassion. They need to see the difference in us. They need to see the outpouring of God's love bestowed upon us flooding out to those around us. Our cups need to run over.

So yeah that second point that is supposed to intersect with this one...we'll  have get to that next week so I don't make this a mile long. But just think about when we get heaven...may we bring in with us shouts of joy of all the people we showed the love of Christ, through tears of compassion and sore knees bent in prayer, and a heart that said "I couldn't of cared more" in the world that even now chooses to care less and less. 

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

What is Love?

Hi everyone,
So I am going to try and keep this post short and simple today if I can manage to pull it off. For some reason lately the "what is love?" question has been popping up in my mind. What is love truly? You watch the sappy movies, the relationships around you, the hookups and the breakups, the families, the books, the cards...ask anyone about love and you are more than likely to get a tale of warm and fuzzy feelings and emotions that make us feel good. The love that involves us the receiver. But as I look around I see a lot of people who are unhappy and unfulfilled and they are just waiting for the right kind of love or the right kind of person. They feel distant from their family, their friends, their spouses, and they feel as they have been cheated. They feel as if the spark they once had is gone. But I ask do you really know love truly at all? I thought I did until I realized I wasn't living like it. So I am going to share with you right now what love is and what I wish I had the chance to say to everyone who is struggling and doesn't understand why they are empty.

Love is Patient
Love is Kind
Love doesn't envy
Love doesn't boast
Love isn't conceited
Love doesn't act improperly
Love isn't selfish
Love isn't is not easily angered
Love doesn't keep records of wrongs
Love finds no joy in sinfulness
Love Rejoices in truth
Love Bears all things, Believes all things, Hopes all things and Endures all things.
Love NEVER ENDS    (1 Corinthians 13:3-8)
Love is Sacrifice (John 15:13) (Ephesians 5:25)
Love is Redeeming (1 Peter 4:8)
Love is Unafraid (1 John 4:18-19)
Love is Obedient (John 14:15)
Love is Unifying (Colossians 3:14)
Love is Forgiving (Proverbs 10:12)
Love is Sincere (Romans 12:9-10)
Love is Continual (Proverbs 17:17)
Love is Comforting (Zephaniah 3:17)
Love is Compelling (2 Corinthians 5:14)
Love is for those who don't deserve it (Luke 6:35)
Love is Boundless (Psalm 36:5-6)
Love is Light (1 John 2:9-10)
Love is Action (1 John 3:18)
Love is as Strong as death (Songs of Solomon 8:6-7)
Love Stands firm (Psalm 89:2)
Love is Deep (1 Peter 1:22)
Love is a commandment (Matthew 22:37-39)
Love is better than life (Psalm 63:3)
Love is Unconditional (John 3:16)

Now if you really ponder on those things and read those verses you are going to see a different picture than what the world chooses to raise you with. Some these verses make it clear of the true love that the Heavenly Father showed us by sacrificing His Son for us. So yes we are created to be loved. But when you read these verses the mass majority of them have a challenge for us. And let me tell you it isn't all warm and fuzzy. Love isn't about what we get, it is about what we give. This world says that it ok for us to give up on love if we just aren't feeling it anymore with someone. We can use people, get what we want, and then leave when we don't "feel it" anymore. The Bible says love, even when you don't feel like it. Love is not just a feeling. It is an action, a choice, a promise that even when circumstances aren't going our way we choose to love anyway. Love is not about having a good time and then ditching when things get tough. Love is about putting someone else ABOVE yourself and your desires. Love is dying to your own wants and wishes and paying attention to others. Love is saying I'm sorry, I forgive you for the 15th time, I am going to hold my tongue instead of making a smart remark, I waited up for you, I showed up at your door when you were having a hard time, I made you dinner, I put down the phone for you, I shut the TV off for you, I cleaned the house for you, I put the kids to bed for you, I gave up drinking for you, I gave up watching trash on the internet for you, I gave up the job promotion that would take me away from you, I love you enough to stop before it goes too far, I will love you in sickness and health, for richer and poorer, I will love you when you are old and gray, I will love you when you mess up, I will love you when you forget things, I will love even after we have a fight, I will love you even if at some point one of us wants to walk away....I LOVE you! That is love. The feeling of love does not always last and we have thousands of broken relationships, homes, and friendships to prove it. But the decision to love can always be made with lasting resolve. God loves us unconditionally beyond what any human being could. He knows we are not perfect and despite all the horrible things people have done in this world, He choose to still love us. And we are to do the same. We face repercussions for our actions just as people should, but instead of being bitter we must conquer that with the action of love. Because we may not feel it all the time, but if we choose to act in love I believe we will find ourselves seeing things in a new perspective over time. Love cannot be about what we are getting all time. It has to be about what we are giving. Within the bounds what is honorable and of God's righteousness, we are to give of ourselves to others, placing them above ourselves. And that is beautiful lasting love. When we stand strong even if no one else will because we have the love of a Savior who laid his life down over 2,000 years ago that is love that lasts. This is the love we are to imitate and that is the love that I want to have. That is the love that I won't settle less for. That is the love we been given, what are we going to choose to do with it?

“This is how God showed his love among us:  He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love:  not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ”  1 John 4:9-11

Be Patient, Life is Good

Hi everyone,

It has been an interesting week this past week with its fair share of highlights and not-so-shining moments. Ending with something that I still battle hard with from time to time....and that is patience. I have times where I am so content with the way life is and then other times when I feel like I am at a stand still while everybody else is living life and passing me by. The things I hope and desire for seem to be being reached by everyone else I know but me. This week it has particularly hit me hard as reach the closeness of being  the big 25. Which is apparently supposed to be a big deal as you officially turn a quarter of a century old, why I don't know?? Anyway, there have honestly been times this week where I have wondered what I really have to show for it? Now of course as He usually does, God chose to give me a little kick in the pants and insight when I least expected it. And that came through on my ride with Sam this morning. So my Sam is a pretty easy going boy, quiet and steady, save for the few random boogie monsters that jump out at him in the form of beeping automatic gates that open by themselves. ;D Anyway it doesn't matter how long ago we last went for a ride, he almost always level-headed and chill. Almost too chill. Sam likes to take life slow when we ride outside. He is never in a rush to get somewhere, he would rather mosey along and take his time looking at everything and wandering about to explore every path that possibly could be taken. This is a stop-and-smell-the-roses horse if I ever have seen one. Now on this particular morning I found myself in a rush, rush mode. I just wanted to get somewhere, and then on to the next thing and the next. I felt like I constantly had to prod him to move faster with him continually choosing to not cooperate until I had a light bulb moment and in that moment God spoke to me. "Stop and see what this little horse is trying to teach you right now. You are in such a rush for what? Slow down and enjoy this time." God was using my little horse to teach me something. Here I was so bottled up like a soda can that has been shaken too much, ready to explode, that I was not enjoying what I had going on right then. I was busy worrying about the next stage in my day and not taking in the moment. So in that moment I made the decision to stop fighting and just to relax and enjoy the rest of my time. I soon realized that I have been fighting just like I was this morning, all week. Wondering why I am not at the various stages of life that I think I should be at, at almost 25? Feeling like I have to hurry or it will be too late for me. The frustraion of wondering why me? Why do I have to feel like I am struggling to run through water when everybody else seems to be on the shore? Life should not be wasted but it certainly should not be rushed either. I am reminded that everyone's story is different and I cannot judge where I am at in the journey of my life based off of where someone else is at in theirs. Which I've realized is what I have been doing this past week in all the other 20 somethings I can think of. I am not a failure because I am not where I think I should be in my life right now or where other people think I should be. God has a purpose and a plan and I have to remember to trust Him and be patient. Now that is SO much easier said than done, but I think we have to condition ourselves to look at what we already have instead of what we don't have. If I had progressed into a different stage of my life than where I am at right now, I probably wouldn't have my awesome job, a little house to take care which I love, my animals, the ability to take Sam out and go riding in the first place, and all the skills that I now possess and am continuing to learn. We have to get out of the mindset of "well I am not here yet", or "or I haven't accomplished this yet", and look at what we do have or what we have come from. I am still learning that it isn't wrong to desire and hope for certain things in our lives...the family of our own, the property of our own, the dream job, the business of our own...but if we aren't there yet it isn't because we suck at life. It is probably because God is saying it isn't time yet. Or on the other hand maybe it is and we just need to stop chomping at the bit so much, focus on Him, and let Him do the work. Anything can change in instant. And once again I have to trust that God's will is perfect and best even if it is not always what I envision. My job is to do His will and accomplish His purpose for me, not me accomplishing my purposes. We have to understand that we may not get everything we want right when we want it or maybe not at all, but that doesn't mean that life can't be good. And I want you to know that even as I right this I still struggle. So if you share in this you are not alone. Sometimes it is sooo hard to wait and trust that it is all going to work out as it is supposed to. If you are like me, maybe there are even times when you have asked God to take away your hope and desire in a particular area if it is never meant to be. But then I realize that if this was the case then we would be more like robots than real humans beings and this is not what God wants for us. "...I came that that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10 (ESV)  He wants us to feel emotions, to love, to desire the good things He has ordained in life, because He wants us to realize how much we really need Him and need to trust in His love for us. And every time I fall at His feet exhausted from endlessly pushing and prodding like I do sometimes to Sam, I see all that I am missing. I see all the goodness and blessings before me. That gives me hope. God does not withhold things from us because He wants to be this dictator that looks down upon us here on earth and enjoys watching us struggle. He wants us slow down, look up and understand that He has our best interests in mind. He wants to protect us, grow us, and give us the present of life, to open every day as we go. Life that does not have a set of hard fast rules as to how it should exactly go, where we should be at such and such point in time, what we should have at such and such age, but rather taking day by day, walking hand in hand, letting Him show what He has for us. (Jer. 29:11) Because life would be boring if we already new all that lied ahead. Life would maybe not even seem worth living in our minds, but in His there is always a purpose for good. So I will keep trying to be still (Ps. 46:10) and wait on His perfect timing, while dedicating my time to what He has right now for me. Because the every day details may need our attention before we are ready for other things. (Luke 16:10) We are not failures, we are "more than conquerors" (Rom. 8:37). Our relationship with Christ ultimately makes us whole and is all we need in this life. In this world it is easy to lose sight of that in the hustle and bustle of everyone around us, but we must come back to it in order to be truly happy in this life. I still need to work on my patience but I am grateful for a God who is ever so patient with me and for my sweet little horse, who shows me how truly blessed I am to have him in my life and to remind me to take it slow.... life is so good. :)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   

 neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

Dreams in Disguise

Hi everyone, 
I have been thinking lately on one of the things that many human beings have in common. And that is dreams. Most of us have aspirations and goals that we would like to achieve in life. Things that we want to do someday, places we want to see, milestones that we want to reach. We often have this picture in our heads of where we see or would like to see our life go. There is a reason why there is the "American Dream" because we live in a country that encourages dreams, is home to dreams, and gives the freedom to make those dreams happen. Now dreams are a fine thing but I have been opened to a new outlook on this matter. A matter that can greatly affect the health of our spiritual life. When I look back at all the "dreams" I have had in the past, I have been led to ask myself some important, honest questions and to examine myself, my motives, and my commitment to following God. 

How much time do we spend absorbed in our plans, our wishes, and our desires for our lives? 

How much time do we spend wishing for the next stage or accomplishment in our lives that we fail to see what God has for us right where were are at? Our plans can easily get misconstrued as God's plans. We expect God to put us where our "dreams" are. But maybe His dreams are smack dab in front of our faces and we choose to have "selective seeing". And the time we waste convincing ourselves that we always have to get somewhere when He actually needs us to do something right now, right here. When I graduated college I had all these plans and wishes. I could see exactly where I wanted my life to go. Needless to say it didn't go at all like I pictured. I fought it for a while and then learned the hard way to become at peace with being back where God wanted me to be. Now as I look around at my life and all that has happened in the past three years, I wouldn't change a single thing. The people, the places, and the things I have right here, mean the world to me. There are many things I truly believe I would never even be doing right now if it wasn't for God wrecking my plans.  


And I am asking you to come and let Him wreck yours. I was so certain my dreams were within His will, but somewhere along the line my will overshadowed His. It is only until we  come to a place of complete surrender and truly leave our desire out of it from a pure love for God and what He wants us to do that we can truly see what He wants. If we truly love Him we will abandon all of self just to do His will. This is much harder than it seems and you may find out, as I have. It really makes you come to grips with if you really love Him "with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind." Deut. 6:5 (ESV) Because it isn't always going to be what we want to hear. It may not be the state or the country we wanted to live in. It may not be the exact career path we wanted to take, it may not be the house with the picket fence we wanted to live in, it may not be the spouse and children we wanted after college, it may not be at all what we imagined. But if it's what God has for us, it is the best we can possibly have. I am continually learning that God's timing is perfect. His plans are perfect. (Ps. 18:30) He sees the bigger picture. Have you ever had to keep a secret from someone? You knew something that they didn't and it was this exciting thing in store for them and it just wasn't the right time to tell them yet? Perhaps they were going alone in their daily lives completely unaware of what was in store. Imagine the joy of the person finally being able to tell them of the exciting news at the right and perfect time, not to mention of the joy of the receiving person. I believe God has much joy when He share us His plans at the just perfect moment He has set for us. Now the question is how do we react? Do we react with joy, recognizing His perfect timing or do we complain about how it isn't the way we wanted things to go? Do we thank Him for His wisdom and protection in our lives or do we angrily stomp off like a child and pout? If I had went through with my plans I am convinced I would probably be in a heap of discontentment and struggle right now. And in coming back to a life I thought I didn't want has turned out to be the biggest blessing in my life so far with so much hope for the future. I have new dreams. But I am trying to make sure they are God's dreams. Often we can see dreams as these big grandiose plans that noticeably change the world.  Or they can be dreams that what we think, will make our lives the best they can be. We often see our dreams as something we are ever chasing after, trying to achieve, when what if they are right here, right now, underneath our noses? Now it isn't wrong to have plans or things to aspire to, but I think the problem is when we become so absorbed in those plans that we fail to see the happiness and purpose that we have right in front of us. God may have a job for us and we are too busy with our head in clouds about the next  step in the 5 year life plan. We need to stop using the days as a means to accomplish what we want. We need to use them to accomplish what God wants. We need to stop using the days to forward our big plans and spend the time forwarding God's plans. "Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" Matt. 16:24  
I look around and see so many people just living to make it through the day. They live unintentionally. And I have been guilty as well. I have gotten so focused on what I want my life to be 5-10 years from now that I have forgotten about where I am right now. I am not thinking about how I can live "intentionally" right now, which will actually prepare me for what God really has in store for the future, not the one I have conjured up in my head. My plans have to fully die so that His can grow, otherwise mine will always distort the truth because that is just pure human nature. We as individuals can want something so much, for what seems like all the right reasons, that we can utterly convince ourselves that something is the "will of God" when it not. We have to be careful and seek His understanding daily and constantly die to ourselves and get to the point where we truly want His will even if it nothing that we would have chosen or wanted to choose for ourselves. (James 1:5) When we have ideas that pop into our heads we must test them against Scripture. We can not base them off of feelings alone. We have to pray and continually seek out God's guidance to make things clear to us. And to recognize that every day that we get to live and breath is a dream. Every moment to make a difference in someone else's life is a dream, every chance we get to teach the next generation is a dream, every laughter and moment we get to spend with loved ones and friends is a dream, every little accomplishment that God gives us the strength to achieve is a dream. And there a hundreds perhaps thousands of little dreams to come true around the corner if we simply learn to enjoy the life He has set before us right here, right now. Don't spend so much of your life chasing the pie in the sky when it might just be disguised amongst all the mundane details of every day life. Look around you and pay attention to those details, embrace them and love them and I am certain God will show you the plans He has for you! (Jer. 29:11) And you can trust that they will be the very best! (Eph. 3:20) So, won't you let Him wreck your dreams and help you to recognize the ones right He has right before you? ;)


"My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." Proverbs 2:1-5