Hi everyone,
So I was reading the other night and I was reading 1 John. I love this little book; it may be small but it packs a punch. ;) And I read one of those verse that you've read so many times only this time you have a complete light bulb moment. "Little children, we must not love in word of speech, but with truth and action." 1 John 3:18 (HCSB) You know when you watch a movie...it could be some sports movie or a war movie or some crisis moment and there is this person that delivers an amazing inspiring speech that just gives everybody the strength to carry on and succeed? Or this character who declares their undying love and loyalty to someone. Yeah so true confession...I've always wanted to be that person. I've wanted to be the one who boosts the moral of an entire group of people or the one to give a troubled friend just the perfect speech they needed to hear when they were struggling. I like to help and encourage people and many times I thought that giving them the "right" words was the best way to do it.
Once eensie weensie problem....I was not born with a silver tongue. Honestly, I can have the brain of a poet sometimes but somehow in translation it comes out as a bumbled jumbled mess. I have always sat back and watched those who always seem to have the just right words to say, the perfect line, the perfect wit, and felt "I better just keep my mouth shut". And the times when I didn't, I would often regret it because it seemed to come out so flat compared to what I hoped. I have viewed people with the gift of eloquence as the 1st choice as friends, for promotions in social circles and jobs and for leadership roles. All the while forgetting one important thing...that we all have different gifts and that simply is not my gift. (Romans 12:4-8) Is it wrong to have the gift of speaking?.. not at all! It is needed, but what I have noticed is society tends to glorify those who speak with power and grandeur. Pop culture glorifies speeches of characters who express their passion in flowery, poetic prose. Much weight is put onto how you can "talk" your way in or out of anything. You want a job, you have to tell the boss all the things he wants to hear so that you will get hired. Irregardless if they are true about yourself. If you want a particular someone to go out with you, you say whatever you think to flatter them so that they will fall for you. Even if they are really just a conquest or an another notch in your belt. It is very easy to fall into the selfish want of a eloquent speaker. Motives must be examined.
1 John 13:16-18 throws a whole new perspective into view. John puts it into the viewpoint of where the rubber meets the road. If you really want to make a difference, to help people and show you care and love them, love them beyond words. Love them in action. Not always with a five minute speech filled with what you "think" they need to hear, but in doing. It is easy to get caught up in the "I have to come up with the right words to say" or "what to they need to hear right now to appease them?" mentality. Often times I've found, by the time you come up with what you think is the magical words, the opportunity for you to make a difference is already past. I think sometimes rather we should approach people with the "what can I do for them right now" or "how can I show them I care". Now this approach can be taken to the extreme and that does not mean that buying people things all the time or doing absolutely everything for them is the correct way. And words still need to be spoken but don't let your worry of not having the "perfect" words to say prevent you from letting someone know that you value them and that you understand them. I appreciate words of affirmation just as much as the next person, but what warms my heart most is when people do little things to show that they genuinely care. Anyone can throw words out there and then ditch when you need them the most. Be the person who has the ability to give a kind word but backs it up even more so with your actions. I personally love noticing little details about people. I try to remember things about them and either try to bring those up in conversation or in tangible ways that I can bless them. Find out what people like and talk about those things with them, but also find ways to "show" them that you know they care about those things. Make things that they appreciate, (food is always a good option ;), help them on a project, or simply be there for them to just talk to. I am continually learning that listening is an art form. Something that I have read that I am trying to keep in mind in my interactions with people is to not listen to people as they talk with the intention of replying, but rather listen with the intent to understand that person and what they are trying to say. I think we need to make it important to us to truly listen to people. We live in a day and age where most people don't have the time. You've got your problems and I've got mine and it easier to just look at our phones. But when you stop for a minute or sit down with someone and look them in the eye and truly "see" them, you are telling them that they are worth your time and effort. Talk about them and their passions, take an interest in them. You can put off talking about yourself or trying to "fix" their every life situation as if that was your duty. Sometimes all we can do is be a listening ear, offer our honest advice and pray for them. For me my goal is to be the person that is there for people when they need me. And if that means never having the inspiring word of the day that blows everybody out of the water then so be it because that is easily rooted in my own selfish pride anyway. I want to be content in the fact that they know, no matter what, they can come to me and feel safe to spill their heart and I will listen for as long as they need me to.
Jesus spoke many amazing words this we know, but He also backed them up with action. While He was speaking He was reaching out a hand to the young and old, the broken and hurting, the rich and the poor. Not everyone took that outstretched hand but nevertheless He proved He cared. Verse 17 in 1 John 3 says: "If anyone has this world's goods and sees his brother in need but closes his eyes to his need--how can God's love reside in him?" We can talk on and on about how we just love and appreciate people until we are blue in the face but if we choose to overlook their needs and walk away then how are we showing true love? Love is sacrifice. Jesus proved that on the cross. It is about putting ourselves aside and uplifting someone else. It isn't about being noticed, heard and admired. It is about showing someone that their life is valuable and precious and not thinking more highly than you out to of yourself (Romans 12:3). Verse 16 "This is how we have come to know love; He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers." Now that is the picture of ultimate love. You want to show someone you truly care, put them first. "Lay down" things for them. I will use this in the figurative sense but also know that just as Christ physically did, literally laying down your life for someone is the most amazing act of love one could ever be called to do. Now many of us will not be called to do that but know that true loyalty is such a precious trait and it is worth pondering about as you never know what life could bring. Understand that words will fade, speeches will be forgotten, but the way you make people feel when they are around you...that can last a lifetime. Don't despair if you don't have a silver tongue. I feel as if I need to tell myself that every day. ;) But rather remember, many people in the bible did not and it was God's words speaking through them and their actions speaking for them. Just think of Moses and Paul. (Exodus 4:10, 1 Corinth. 2:3-5) Both men were not grand speakers by any means and yet God used them to do amazing things, because they were obedient to His call. God spoke through them and He used their weakness in the speech department to show His power and work to those around them. So don't be afraid to speak at all, just know that even if you stumble and fumble here and there, your effort can mean the world to people and it can cause them to wonder about the courage inside you. But don't forget to back it up with action. Simply being a kind face for someone to talk to or shoulder to lean on can be one of the loving gestures they have received in a long time and at times will speak louder than words ever could. Share Christ's love in you but show it as well. That can make all the difference. Come to think of it we are all beautiful speakers saved by God's grace. We just need to understand we can be speakers from the heart and the hands of service just as well. :)
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." 1 Corinthians 13:1 (ESV)
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