So I had a huge revelation this morning about something that I though I had under control but realized that, in fact, I didn't...surprise, surprise! ;)
I was listening to a sermon from a church that I am potentially looking at going to, that had a very attention catching title. Follow Your Heart. I mean we've all heard of it right? The phrase that is used in countless movies that puts the main character in a position where they have to make a monumental, life changing decision and their confidant tells them that they just need to "follow their heart". The pastor was talking about how different phrases that we grow up hearing throughout our lives become almost like Bible verses to us. As if they were actually words spoken by God Himself. However, you will not find verses about following your heart. Instead, you will find verses that say that the human heart is not to be trusted. That it is foolish and deceiving above all things.
And I mean think about it, it is true. How many relationships, marriages, job opportunities, and countless lives have been wrecked because people just had to "follow their heart" instead of following what was morally right? The pastor went on to explain how we can want something so badly that our heart becomes convinced that something is true, however, that does not make it true. We can convince ourselves that something is right when in fact it's not. Our hearts can be blinded. That is why we need to give our hearts to God and let Him lead them because He loves us and knows what is truly best for us. Our hearts need to led, not followed. A heart, if followed can be deceived into deception, lying, killing, bad choices, infidelity, and self-destruction. But if we lead our hearts by holy principles then we have a strong path to follow.
So now this brings me to a confession. The thing that hit me right across the forehead today and made me have to rewind parts of the sermon several times. I have been following my heart to the point that my dream has become my idol. I, of course, told myself that it was all about inspiring people and making a difference in people's lives, but let's be honest....that feeling of longing to be recognized, to be admired, to be "successful", to have "my time to shine"; was always lurking below the surface. My heart was telling me that I wanted it for others, and to an extent that was true, but slowly I was wanting to taste that glory for myself more and more. My heart was changing and I was following it. And because of it I was dragging my feet when it came to different things in my current life situation. My business idea had been placed on that back burner even though I knew I needed to start doing something about it. My ability to read people and know when they really needed someone to simply take an interest in them had been dulled. My drive for my job had waned.
This morning was a reminder that I am following my heart instead of letting it be led by God. I may have let go of my dream into His hands but then I just started treading water. Before I had the idea of training horses for film, I had the idea of having a therapeutic riding facility some day and reaching out to all ages with the joy a horse can give. And I let that vision fade, as I became more and more enamored with "silver screen" plans. And now I see that God has been calling me back this whole time and I am finally getting it. I need to do this business because that is where my heart is being led. I want to bring joy to children's lives and heart's with God's amazing creatures. I want to bring a smile to the face of a nursing home patient or a veteran. I want to bring laughter to people who are hurting. I have always wanted to do that, because that it what truly makes a difference. A movie can leave you with an experience and a feeling that can last for a little while if it was really good. But a personal moment with someone face to face, can leave an impression that can last a lifetime.
I want it to stop being about me and become about others. If that means I never grace the credits or train the horses of any film in my lifetime so be it. Because I don't want to risk losing my heart just because I thought I was doing the right thing by "following" it when I truly was going down a road of self-indulgence. I will still keep on trick training and enjoying movies with horses in them but I will only go to that industry if God leads me there some day and not on my own terms. And I tell you what; I already feel relieved. With God leading my heart, I don't have to worry anymore because He will always take me where I need to be.
Now that I have that off my chest....I can now plan more excitedly for my new business venture!!
There is a lot of things to be done in just a few short months if I plan to kick off my pony party business in the spring and I need all the prayers I can get!! And I need to ask ya'll a favor....perhaps the first and most important step in the business starting process is a name for my business. I feel like in order to make this totally real (besides that thing called finances, not super important right? :)) I need a name that is going to define what adventure is all about. So I am asking for suggestions...because I am horrible about coming up with names! I want something that is a little out of the box, attention grabbing to the general public, and that has a good message to it. Fun, yet meaningful. So please feel free to leave suggestions on my blog Facebook page...any help would be greatly appreciated!
And please be praying that my heart will stay on track and hopefully I can start bringing some happiness to into some people's lives soon with the crew that has brought so much to mine. :)
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