The Mood Game

Have you ever played the mood game? One minute you're feeling like your on cloud nine and then just a few hours later you are contemplating why you even care about anything? One instant you're loving life and then the next you're questioning why it's gotta be so dang hard sometimes?
With me, my mood tends to be effected by the weather. Anyone who knows me fairly well, knows that I am not a fan of winter...period. Snow and cold temps are acceptable for Christmas Day and that day only in my mind. Many people have experienced my random cries of angst over frozen objects, cold hands and toes, and be bundled up, feeling like the Michelan Man. And of course they happen to often find it quite amusing much to my continued angst. ;)
So the other day I was at work and it of course, was a typical gloomy and cold January morning. And I have to say my mood was not in the greatest of shapes. I had much grievance on my mind at the time and it was one of those times when you wondered why you even cared about what was going on around you and you just wanted to crawl in a hole and be alone for like forever. Anyway...as the morning progressed, all the sudden the sun made its presence know and the skies cleared. And like a lightbulb, as the warm sun seeped into my bundled body, a warmth took to my mood. Suddenly the coldness seemed to just disappear and I didn't even care anymore that it was winter. All I could feel was the warmth on face, hear the birds chirping and feel my soul coming alive. And I couldn't help but burst into a smile and feel a refreshed pep in my step and hope in my heart.
Now you may be asking where in heck am I going with this....or analyzing whether or not I may be bi-polar...haha! But as I thought about it later that day, it struck me, how a simple change in the weather could cause such a difference on my mood and outlook on that day. Even later in the day the gloomy skies returned and I could slowly feel my mood trying to shift back to match the gloominess. But I began to wonder why. Why should such a thing affect how I feel? I may not like winter, but why should that change how I view the day? Am I not alive and breathing? Did I not have the ability to get out of bed this morning? Am I not walking on two feet and getting to be out in creation instead of a stuffy office?  Why should a silly thing like the weather change how I feel?
I believe we grow up associating our external surroundings with certain feelings. A raining, gloomy day can make us feel sad. I mean rain on a wedding day can be considered a bad omen right? As kids who didn't draw a sun with a smiley face on it because the sun is supposed to happy of course! The cold outside can make us feel cozy inside by the fire. The heat can make us either really enjoy the pool or make us irritable and sluggish. But how much of this is actually just all in our head? I mean obviously we can have physical reactions to these different things, but should they really have that much of a profound effect on us?
And as I continued to think, I wondered if people noticed the changes in mood in each other according to this. Could people tell the difference in me? What kind of message was I sending to others? That my attitude could be changed so easily by my surroundings and the thoughts that I let it breed in my mind? God doesn't want us to be people who are easily tossed about by the external elements around us. Just because it's a gloomy day and our current circumstances might not be ideal, doesn't mean that it's not a day to celebrated. Just because the sun's not shining doesn't mean it can be a good day to be enjoyed. It can be 10 below and you can still trudge out in knee deep snow to break ice in the water tank with pep in your step. You can be knee deep in mud and soaked through with a smile still on your face while tying to chase unruly horses. You can lift your face to the bitter cold wind or the heat waves and have the most ridiculous grin on your face because nothing can touch your soul. Our source or quality of life doesn't come from the things around us....the situations, the circumstances, the people, or the weather.  It comes from deep within us; from what we know to be true. That Someone gave us another day to live and breathe oxygen. To soak in the sun, to feel the rain on our skin, to appreciate that we have fingers and toes that tell us when they're getting too cold, to catch a snowflake on our tongue, to learn from our mistakes and try again and to make a difference in our world. What would people say if we were the ones always smiling no matter what the day was like? If we were the ones soaked to the bone but dancing in the rain. Cheeks frozen into a permanent grin? Sweating bullets but still laughing?
I don't want my mood to be affected by something as petty as the weather or by how other people are feeling and acting. I want to be the mood changer and the winner of the mood game. I want to be the one who brings the sun with me every day because I have the true Son in me!

Follow Your Heart?

Hi everyone,
So I had a huge revelation this morning about something that I though I had under control but realized that, in fact, I didn't...surprise, surprise! ;)
I was listening to a sermon from a church that I am potentially looking at going to, that had a very attention catching title. Follow Your Heart. I mean we've all heard of it right? The phrase that is used in countless movies that puts the main character in a position where they have to make a monumental, life changing decision and their confidant tells them that they just need to "follow their heart". The pastor was talking about how different phrases that we grow up hearing throughout our lives become almost like Bible verses to us. As if they were actually words spoken by God Himself. However, you will not find verses about following your heart. Instead, you will find verses that say that the human heart is not to be trusted. That it is foolish and deceiving above all things.
And I mean think about it, it is true. How many relationships, marriages, job opportunities, and countless lives have been wrecked because people just had to "follow their heart" instead of following what was morally right? The pastor went on to explain how we can want something so badly that our heart becomes convinced that something is true, however, that does not make it true. We can convince ourselves that something is right when in fact it's not. Our hearts can be blinded. That is why we need to give our hearts to God and let Him lead them because He loves us and knows what is truly best for us. Our hearts need to led, not followed. A heart, if followed can be deceived into deception, lying, killing, bad choices, infidelity, and self-destruction. But if we lead our hearts by holy principles then we have a strong path to follow.
So now this brings me to a confession. The thing that hit me right across the forehead today and made me have to rewind parts of the sermon several times. I have been following my heart to the point that my dream has become my idol. I, of course, told myself that it was all about inspiring people and making a difference in people's lives, but let's be honest....that feeling of longing to be recognized, to be admired, to be "successful", to have "my time to shine"; was always lurking below the surface. My heart was telling me that I wanted it for others, and to an extent that was true, but slowly I was wanting to taste that glory for myself more and more. My heart was changing and I was following it. And because of it I was dragging my feet when it came to different things in my current life situation. My business idea had been placed on that back burner even though I knew I needed to start doing something about it. My ability to read people and know when they really needed someone to simply take an interest in them had been dulled. My drive for my job had waned.
This morning was a reminder that I am following my heart instead of letting it be led by God. I may have let go of my dream into His hands but then I just started treading water. Before I had the idea of training horses for film, I had the idea of having a therapeutic riding facility some day and reaching out to all ages with the joy a horse can give. And I let that vision fade, as I became more and more enamored with "silver screen" plans. And now I see that God has been calling me back this whole time and I am finally getting it. I need to do this business because that is where my heart is being led. I want to bring joy to children's lives and heart's with God's amazing creatures. I want to bring a smile to the face of a nursing home patient or a veteran. I want to bring laughter to people who are hurting. I have always wanted to do that, because that it what truly makes a difference. A movie can leave you with an experience and a feeling that can last for a little while if it was really good. But a personal moment with someone face to face, can leave an impression that can last a lifetime.
I want it to stop being about me and become about others. If that means I never grace the credits or train the horses of any film in my lifetime so be it. Because I don't want to risk losing my heart just because I thought I was doing the right thing by "following" it when I truly was going down a road of self-indulgence. I will still keep on trick training and enjoying movies with horses in them but I will only go to that industry if God leads me there some day and not on my own terms. And I tell you what; I already feel relieved. With God leading my heart, I don't have to worry anymore because He will always take me where I need to be.
Now that I have that off my chest....I can now plan more excitedly for my new business venture!!
There is a lot of things to be done in just a few short months if I plan to kick off my pony party business in the spring and I need all the prayers I can get!! And I need to ask ya'll a favor....perhaps the first and most important step in the business starting process is a name for my business. I feel like in order to make this totally real (besides that thing called finances, not super important right? :)) I need a name that is going to define what adventure is all about. So I am asking for suggestions...because I am horrible about coming up with names! I want something that is a little out of the box, attention grabbing to the general public, and that has a good message to it. Fun, yet meaningful. So please feel free to leave suggestions on my blog Facebook page...any help would be greatly appreciated!
And please be praying that my heart will stay on track and hopefully I can start bringing some happiness to into some people's lives soon with the crew that has brought so much to mine. :)

Welcome 2017!

Hi everyone!!
So it has been forever since I posted and now that the holidays are over I feel like I can reset my focus and look to 2017! Of course the lull won't last for long...just a couple months and hopefully spring will begin to show its face! I am very excited about this year and what it holds! Hopefully I will be able to announce the start of my new business, Lord willing and embark on new adventures in my life.

Now I know this time of year is popular for New Year's resolutions and if your like me you are not a huge fan of them and don't really make any. I mean how many people actually stick to them? Instead of making yearly resolutions that often get forgotten as the year goes on, I think ever day we should wake up with a resolve to improve our lives and the lives of others around us. It doesn't have to be specific unless you want it to be. Just simply choosing to be positive instead of negative in life. One of things I have decided to do is to take to heart two popular phrases. "Laughter is the best medicine", and "Don't take yourself too seriously". Anyone who knows me, knows that I can take myself waaay to seriously sometimes! :) I am a perfectionist and if I don't live up to my ridiculous expectations (that no mortal human being could live up to!) I can be extremely hard on myself. I even judge my own self whenever I make a silly mistake that's not a big deal or even when I laugh at something but am afraid others won't see the humor in it. So I have decided it is time to lighten up and give myself permission to have a little fun. Now of course this doesn't mean being careless, but to accept the fact that I am human and I will make mistakes but often it's not the end of the world. If I trip over my words (or actually trip over things) I can laugh it off. If I do something funny, I can laugh at myself instead of judging myself. I can go around my house belting 80s music like a rockstar, break out into dance in the barn aisle way, get visibly excited about the silliest of things like fresh cut, "beautiful" hay bales, a newly drug arena, and sweet smelling stall shavings, roll the windows and blast music, and laugh until the tears come. I need to accept God's gift of laughter more often and maybe one day when I'm old I can look at the wrinkles and know where they came from. No matter how young or old you are I think it's never a bad thing to think about how you want to be remembered someday. Life is short and everything can change in the blink of an eye, but our legacy and the impression we leave on people can last generations and many more New Year's to come. So how about we make a lasting day by day commitment in our lives to be the person who truly laughed, loved, and lived.