Hi everyone,
I am going to try and keep this post shorter than my usual. I want to again this week begin by asking a few questions and please really think about them. What would you do if you weren't afraid? What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail? What dreams and goals would you chase after if you knew that it was going to work out without a doubt? I have really been thinking on this, this past week. And honestly it has been a war back and forth of what I want and what God wants. I have wanted to say things but have been afraid to lay them out in the open which has caused me to ask myself more questions. Why am I afraid? And the conclusion that I keep coming to is, that I am too afraid of what other people will think. I am too afraid that I am not good enough, that it will be a flop. I am afraid I will be left standing alone with this shattered dream laying in my hands. Yet it is silly because I feel as if it is the very things that God is calling me to do because it is going to require me to step out in complete trust and faith. Do you ever feel that way too? You feel as if you should be doing something or working towards something but you feel that nagging uncertainty. The worry that things won't come through and that you are dreaming too big. We essentially put God in a box. We say, "I know Lord you are calling me in this direction" or may we even have a clear picture of what He is asking, but we are still standing, backs pressed up against the wall, afraid to step out onto the stage He is building for us. We can't see the end result or the big picture so we feel as if we can't move forward. Sometimes He only gives us barely the next step and is asking us to move out in blind faith that He will provide. And isn't it funny how we choose to believe sometimes in our actions that the God who created the whole universe cannot make His plans for us happen or that He somehow made a mistake when He chose us for our purpose in life? We are often like Peter in Matthew 14, who sees Jesus out on the water and steps out of the boat to go to Him in confidence at first but then when we see the waves of uncertainty we begin to doubt, take our eyes off of Jesus and start to sink. Many people in life sink and they don't reach out and takes Jesus's hand, they leave their callings and gifts on the ocean floor. I wonder how many of those people struggle with that the rest of their lives? Time waits for no man. But for those who do take His hand what amazing stories they have to tell! I am continually reminded that God doesn't choose the mighty and powerful in this world to make a difference. (1 Corinth. 1:26-29) He chose Peter who denied Him three times to be the rock upon which the early church was built. He chose Saul who lived the first part of his life killing Christians to become Paul, missionary to the early churches. He chose Moses, a murderer and a man of lowly speech, to speak in front of Pharaoh and lead God's people out of Egypt. He chose Esther, a young ordinary Jewish woman to be the queen of an empire. He chose Mary, a teenager to carry His Son, our Salvation. God makes of habit of choosing everyday, ordinary and even the most unlikely people to carry out some amazing missions. How quick we are to forget these things or think that God doesn't work like that anymore. We put God within boundaries because honestly sometimes, I think it is makes us feel safer and more comfortable. We have these hopes and aspirations of being the best we can be for His glory but when He presents us with ideas we balk and ask Him if He is serious. Now it is something that we should spend much time in prayer, reading His Word, and seeking to understand His will, but at a certain point we have to realize went it just becomes a means to drag our feet. And I'm here to say I have BIG time! I have a business idea that I have wanted to start for over a year now. In some ways I knew I wasn't ready a year ago but now I feel God's pressure in a new way. And perhaps not in the way I originally anticipated. What I have realized, is the past year I have been more concerned about making this business idea profitable and that in a sense has created a certain amount of stress because it never seems like the right time to start. But I believe God is calling me to see more the ministry aspect of it. I envisioned it to be a ministry opportunity when I came up with it, but I almost felt like it had to be more of business type deal before it could become a "ministry". I had to build up the money before I could do other things. I think now God is calling me to step out in complete faith and start doing His work, His way and in His order. I wanted to start a pony party business for children's birthday parties originally and I still would like to, but where my heart is really being drawn to is teaching and educating both children and adults alike about the amazing creature that the horse is. Whether that is at schools and/or various social groups. I want use horses as therapy for people in hospitals, rehab, and our veterans. I want to use horses as a ministry tool and give horse devotionals to different groups. Now these are all things that require faith and trust on my part, because 1. I am not a public speaker. 2. Essentially these things do not bring in funds, and I wish not to ask for such. Essentially is going to require me to rely on God completely to supply all that I need financially and equipment wise. 3. I may have a blog but I am not a social media, get the word out kind of person. I have to learn how to be a promoter in a good way. 3. I am terrified!! :D I want to do this so much but I feel like Moses who is staring at the burning bush in disbelief, questioning what and why God is asking me to do this. Doesn't He see my inadequacy, doesn't He see my weakness, doesn't He see my lack? But I am choosing to rest in the thought that He is going to use my faint heart and stammering tongue to do His will as He sees fit if I will only take the first step. There is also another idea that is in the works that I just need to voice. It is something that I have bounced around for several years and recently I have received some encouragement from people that I believe was God intended. I am considering the possibility of writing a book and specifically more along the lines of a devotional. Once again I have dealt with some fear with this because I honestly can't imagine anyone reading it but it has been something I have wanted to try for actually a long time now and God has kind of given me some direction on it lately. And if it is truly meant to be He will make it happen and I don't need to write a book to sell. I need to write because I honestly love it and I believe it is something I need to do at some point. So please be praying and I will probably be asking for some ideas of what people who read my blog would like to see in a devotional book as I feel if anyone would be inclined to read a book written by me it would be those of you who already read my posts every week! :) I am choosing to be transparent with you all and express all this so that I can maintain a certain level of accountability as I am still going to be dealing with some Moses "cold feet" from time to time. And I believe it is important to get other people involved. We need to stop being afraid of what others may think and utilize the relationships He gives us to be an encouragement for both us and the plans that God may be calling our bothers and sister in Christ towards as well.
Anyway, once again I ask you to really ask yourselves what would you do for God if you weren't afraid? What would you take the first step out on tomorrow or even today if you knew that it was going to all work out? And here is the cool thing that we forget and that I forget...no matter what happens, when we are doing what God is calling us to do, when we are in the center of His will, it will never be a failure. He always has a purpose and plan and if it means that through whatever we do we only help one person then we have succeeded. We plant the seeds and He gives the increase. If it means that through our weakness and not so perfect presentation that people see God working through us, then that will make it all worth. And that is honestly exciting because we don't have to be perfect or all the stars don't have to be aligned for us to follow His plan. He can use us wherever, whenever, and however; we just have to be willing to look past the fear, loose Him from the box in our minds and step out onto the water. Honestly, whatever happens I don't think I am going to regret it, rather I will regret it if I don't. How about you?
"I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you, will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6(ESV)